This post is all about…
Where my LEGS end and my BUTT begins.
I love you.
I’ve always had a small upper body, small waist, and nice sized thighs. As my sister and I discuss regularly…
I’ve struggled for years with my lower half, I mean… I guess we should call it what it is. My backside, my butt, my ass, my badonka donk – okay, I’ll never call it that again – let’s stick with my butt. More specifically this week, I focused on the goddamn crease between my butt and my legs.
I mean the I-love-you-so-much butt crease.
This is more a reflection on not being 21 anymore then really my body image. This past month I’ve been slowly hacking away at my closet, throwing out old hand-me-downs, things I never wore once, and things I only ever dreamed would suit me.
There were these two dresses that, through all my purging, I kept. Yesterday I pulled them out. I tried both of them on, probably spending a little over 30 minutes just looking at myself in the mirror.
There was this dress.
And this one.
Both adorbs. However, I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t see myself ever wearing them. I realized, after scrutinizing for a while, that it had EVERYTHING to do with my insecurity of the back of my upper legs. I.E. that beautiful softer part that slowly creeps up to my butt.
So, I decided TWO things.
- I need to say I LOVE YOU more to that area. Which may translate into me talking to my butt more… but I really don’t care.
- I need to buy longer dresses.
And you know what? I did, I immediately put those two dresses up on eBay for sale and went to the store to buy myself a cute black dress that stops JUST ABOVE the KNEES.
When I bought that dress. I felt SEXY. Because, it was showing off every part of me that oozed confidence.
I realized, I had a hard time letting go of those dresses because I thought I had failed myself. I thought, because I didn’t like how I looked in those dresses I wasn’t working hard enough to keep my body in the BEST. SHAPE. EVAH. *cue growling and workout music montage*
None of that’s it. Finding clothes that make you feel sexy is so important, and holding on to clothes that don’t. That make you feel lesser and, dare I say, UNSEXY; is so un-necessary.
I guess my point is. Through taking this week to truly focus in on that part of my body, say I love you, and accept it. I’ve realized, to make me feel more cared for and nourished, I need to make sure that I am giving it EVERY THING to make it be the best it can be.
If longer dresses are the solution. Then that’s the solution for now.
This is definitely one I am going to have to revisit. Next week will be a different body part, but expect me to be talking about my butt a little more in the not-so-distance future.
Because, I mean – who doesn’t love a little ass talk?
Comments? What do you say “I love you” too this week? Let me know in the comments below!