This blog post is about…
I love you.
What’s a bunion? Basically my big toe is smushed into my other toes and therefore the bone connecting it to the… uhh… base of the foot (total technical term) is protruding out to create a little point. Almost like a little elbow. On my foot.
When I was a teenager I was a ballet dancer. I went all the way too. What does that mean exactly? Honestly, it means nothing. It just means I learned pointe work as well.
I’m pretty sure this is why I have a bunion.
Oh, and years of NOT TAKING CARE OF IT.
Right now, I can feel my bunion. I never can not NOT feel it. It constantly throbs. It’s not painful anymore, it just throbs.
It’s painful when I hit it on accident. Like, run into things. Which, as someone in their late twenties, I do far too often.
It’s painful when I have to wear shoes for too long.
I’ve been offered surgery before. If I had the finances, I would consider surgery. This is something I have power over changing. I do exercises every day to make it that much more bearable but I’m not fixing it, all I’m doing is making it so I can handle it.
But that’s all I can do right now. Make it so I can handle it.
I think it’s okay that that’s enough.
I love my bunion. You know why? It’s a scar from my past and I reminder of my present state of being. I can proudly say I have constant pain in my foot because for 10 straight years I danced every day of my life. I can proudly say I still dance and the pain and throb that I feel is a reminder of a younger me. I can proudly say I have walked for years around New York, London, San Francisco, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, and Honolulu; so that when I was finished I seared with pain but all I could see was the view, the images, and the stories. That’s all I can ever see. And I’m not done yet, I will never be done. Finally, I can proudly say I have spent over 8 hours a day for the past 15 years on my feet serving other people, through more ways then one, and I will keep doing that.
Part of me wonders what it would be like to not feel the pain in my foot on a daily basis.
Then I just laugh, because how fucking boring would life be if we didn’t get to experience ALL OF THE THINGS.
After this weeks love, I think I’m in love with my bunion. Mission accomplished. Now, I’m going to go treat it like the queen it is and douse it in oils.
Because, that’s my solution to most problems. Oils.
Comments? What did you say “I love you” too this week? Let me know in the comments below!