Weekly Love

I’m a ghost, I’m a lover… LOVE | Issue No. 4

 This blog post is about…

My eyebrows and how ghostly white they are.

I love you.

I bet you never thought you’d want to read an entire blog post about someones eyebrows. But this is serious shit right here. Life changing.

I didn’t start penciling in my eyebrows until I was 25. That’s 25 years of white out eyebrows. That’s 25 years of every time I took a picture my eyebrows were suddenly non-existent.

FullSizeRender-4
’07, pre penciling in.

It’s not that I don’t have eyebrows, or that my eyebrows are WHITE hairs. They are just so THIN that it’s impossible to see them once the damn camera flashes. This is legitimately a white person problem, and you know what – I get it. It’s kind of silly. But I can’t tell you how much penciling in my eyebrows made me feel; the only way I can describe it is…

It made me feel good.

I thought it would be appropriate after hitting some harder areas earlier in the month to end on something that is totally within my power to change. Because, I can’t really write about this and not feel silly.

I CAN change my eyebrows. When I say change, I mean – It’s fun and simple. I can pretty much do whatever I want as long as I am happy with it, and that’s how it is going to fly.

I think for the longest time as a kid I didn’t really know how to approach that. You try so hard to be cool for everyone else, and it gives you no time to learn what YOU think is cool yourself.

What YOU love to wear, what make up YOU wanna use (or not), and how YOU wanna do your hair.

There was a period in my life, where I look back on pictures and memories and don’t see me.

The thing is, I don’t really see anyone.

Maybe I was trying to be invisible or maybe I didn’t want anyone to see me. I know I wasn’t happy with myself and that embarrassed me. That consumed me.

Then one day,  I looked at a picture of myself and tried to pin point exactly what I didn’t like. At the time, I didn’t like any of it. I hated my smile, my hair, my body, my eyes… everything. But I managed to find one thing that would make me feel a little better about my look, about what I presented to the world on a daily basis. It was my eye brows. They were so washed out, my face looked ghostly.

So, I penciled them in the next day. Snapped a photo. And haven’t looked back.

FullSizeRender-3
Taken like 5 seconds ago.

Now I look at pictures of me and… I’m not perfect (thank god), I still see those old insecurities and even some current ones. The difference is now I smile, because I’m so happy with what I see.

I think it’s because I see that I’m me. After all of it, that’s me in the picture and I’m so happy to be going on this journey with that woman. I like that woman.

I love that woman.

FullSizeRender-2

Talking about how I love my ghostly white eyebrows even though every morning I wake up and pencil them in without fail. Without missing a beat. It’s not as simple as just putting on make-up, it becomes something more sometimes. It becomes self-love.

 

Comments? What did you say “I love you” too this week? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s